Sonder

I tend to avoid made up words, however this one calls to me. It is found in the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, similar to the Urban Dictionary. 

Sonder is the sudden realization that everyone around you has a complex and vivid life. 

This occurs in my mind quite often. I think of those around me while stopped at red lights, or while waiting in line to buy my groceries. Maybe its my way of passing time. This last week that was taken one step further when I realized that not only do all of these beautiful faces I pass have lives attached to them, they also hurt and experience pain. 

Why have I never thought of this before. Each smile or scowl found on a strangers face represents an event that I may never know about. 

I did the only thing I knew how to do in that instant.. I began praying for each person I passed. I asked God to speak to them where they are, meet the need to a problem they are facing and being peace to those who appeared tormented. In some way I began to feel better that maybe my silent requests to God were actually doing good in their lives. Then I began to pray more specifically about those I know, the situations I am aware of. 

At this my heart broke. I nearly began to cry right there in the grocery store. 

The thought of people I know facing trials of various kinds gave me another overwhelmed feeling. How does God keep all this straight? How can He support those who are hurting and rejoice with those who are victorious? Well first, He is God... I mean come on. Then the idea that we are all here together gave me hope. God will use each one of us to be that solid rock for the mother who just lost her child, or that smile and laughter for the couple who just married. We are the hands and feet of God. 

If you are close enough to share oxygen with someone, you are close enough to effect their life. Will your influence be one people look forward to, or will it be one to avoid?

Each day presents an opportunity to share life with family, friends, strangers. MY daughter makes it a point to give a compliments to each person she interacts with. Not everyone takes this well but most people do. In addition to praying for those in close proximity or those in your heart, I encourage you to take time for a smile. Give away as many as you can, they're free after all.

Where in the world?

So I know it has been a while since the last post and I would like to say that it is because I have been so busy since that seems like a valid reason for skipping out on most obligations or commitments. Well, truth be told, I have been busy, but I was busy when I wrote the last one, so that is not the reason for avoiding this page. The real reason lies somewhere in the imagined reality that I have created to shield myself from being to vulnerable.

It is scary to write and have thoughts, normally hidden from the rest of humanity, put to paper and exposed to the world. (or in my case the few of you who have chosen to read this) 

So after seeing the number of readers grow, I freaked out. I know, isn't the whole reason for a blog so people can read your ideas and share them and in turn become rich and famous? Perhaps that holds true for most bloggers out there, however in my case I am doing this because I am reminded of the need to step out of my comfort zone and experience situations and events I generally hide from. So I am back, until my brain decides to rationalize the need to run back to my cave and hide from the big scary world, which hopefully does not happen again.

It is so easy to stay in the routine of life and avoid those people or places that are unfamiliar while pretending to be a strong woman, full of vigor and life, ready to tackle the biggest challenges. And while that may hold a flicker of truth, in reality I only take on what i know I can beat.

It is hard to start a project or follow through with a dream not knowing if it will turn out as expected. 

I have encountered a few people in whom no fear exists, or at least this is the appearance from my point of view. These select few can run out into the dark unknown and take over the situation with resolve that comes from some undisclosed source. I am reminded of the story of Paul and Barnabas in the Acts 13:2-3 of the Bible. 

"While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, 'Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.' So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off." 

They were sent out to a place they had not previously lived. There is so much in the small word of the Bible that can be missed if rushing through and hitting the highlights. Here it says they were fasting when they heard the call. The two did not immediately get up and run from the building to go out into all the world. First they finished the task at hand, they finished fasting and praying. Again, the two did not rush along to the call of taking the Gospel across the world, they sought the support of their companions, their friends. In the last line it says "they placed their hands on them and sent them off"

The two Apostles sought out their friends for prayer and support before heading out. 

Were Paul and Barnabas nervous to go out and preach the good news to far away lands? What were they thinking when the Holy Spirit spoke to them? I can tell you I would have been sandwiched between excitement and resistance. To have the opportunity of being chosen to do such an amazing job, to take the news of Jesus to those who hadn't heard before would have thrilled my heart. On the other hand, to face unknown places and people would have sent my mind into overdrive on the what if's. Isn't that what really hold us all back, the what if's? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I can't remember where to find the scripture when asked a question? What if I fail miserably? What if the business doesn't take off. What if this marriage plunders? In all we do, whether for the Gospel or for daily living, the thought of what could happen often gives way to not trying. Is it really easier to just put off the dream so we don't fail. I could insert a number of quotes about how failure is the lack of trying and mistakes only make us stronger, but I want to leave you with this. I understand the need to keep the boat steady and stay in charted waters close to home, but great things happen when we venture past our fears, our what if's and move into a place of living outside our cushy chairs. So shut off Netflix, look past your phone and see the wonder of the world waiting for you to leave your mark.