Where in the world?

So I know it has been a while since the last post and I would like to say that it is because I have been so busy since that seems like a valid reason for skipping out on most obligations or commitments. Well, truth be told, I have been busy, but I was busy when I wrote the last one, so that is not the reason for avoiding this page. The real reason lies somewhere in the imagined reality that I have created to shield myself from being to vulnerable.

It is scary to write and have thoughts, normally hidden from the rest of humanity, put to paper and exposed to the world. (or in my case the few of you who have chosen to read this) 

So after seeing the number of readers grow, I freaked out. I know, isn't the whole reason for a blog so people can read your ideas and share them and in turn become rich and famous? Perhaps that holds true for most bloggers out there, however in my case I am doing this because I am reminded of the need to step out of my comfort zone and experience situations and events I generally hide from. So I am back, until my brain decides to rationalize the need to run back to my cave and hide from the big scary world, which hopefully does not happen again.

It is so easy to stay in the routine of life and avoid those people or places that are unfamiliar while pretending to be a strong woman, full of vigor and life, ready to tackle the biggest challenges. And while that may hold a flicker of truth, in reality I only take on what i know I can beat.

It is hard to start a project or follow through with a dream not knowing if it will turn out as expected. 

I have encountered a few people in whom no fear exists, or at least this is the appearance from my point of view. These select few can run out into the dark unknown and take over the situation with resolve that comes from some undisclosed source. I am reminded of the story of Paul and Barnabas in the Acts 13:2-3 of the Bible. 

"While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, 'Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.' So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off." 

They were sent out to a place they had not previously lived. There is so much in the small word of the Bible that can be missed if rushing through and hitting the highlights. Here it says they were fasting when they heard the call. The two did not immediately get up and run from the building to go out into all the world. First they finished the task at hand, they finished fasting and praying. Again, the two did not rush along to the call of taking the Gospel across the world, they sought the support of their companions, their friends. In the last line it says "they placed their hands on them and sent them off"

The two Apostles sought out their friends for prayer and support before heading out. 

Were Paul and Barnabas nervous to go out and preach the good news to far away lands? What were they thinking when the Holy Spirit spoke to them? I can tell you I would have been sandwiched between excitement and resistance. To have the opportunity of being chosen to do such an amazing job, to take the news of Jesus to those who hadn't heard before would have thrilled my heart. On the other hand, to face unknown places and people would have sent my mind into overdrive on the what if's. Isn't that what really hold us all back, the what if's? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I can't remember where to find the scripture when asked a question? What if I fail miserably? What if the business doesn't take off. What if this marriage plunders? In all we do, whether for the Gospel or for daily living, the thought of what could happen often gives way to not trying. Is it really easier to just put off the dream so we don't fail. I could insert a number of quotes about how failure is the lack of trying and mistakes only make us stronger, but I want to leave you with this. I understand the need to keep the boat steady and stay in charted waters close to home, but great things happen when we venture past our fears, our what if's and move into a place of living outside our cushy chairs. So shut off Netflix, look past your phone and see the wonder of the world waiting for you to leave your mark.